Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Today's weather forecast: FREE-ZINE.

I came out to NY this week with only two objectives:
1. Pretend to be a vulture and start a satanic fire in a public place, and
2. Team up with amazing photographer and craft-gypsy CHLOE RICE to create a 20-page zine within 24 hours while sitting outside in the freezing cold drawing inspiration from the weather, the people, and the pigeons.

Objective #1: Dunzo!

Objective #2: Double dunzo!

And to celebrate our shivers, Chloe and I are going to be sitting outside of our good friend Tara McPherson's Brooklyn boutique,
THE COTTON CANDY MACHINE Thursday, Dec 22 from 12-2 PM as we declare tomorrow "FUCKING FREE ZINE DAY". Yes, that's right, we are giving away our new zine for FREE. Well, I mean, for Zero Billion Dollars.
And the leftover copies that don't find a free home for, we are going to burn in order to stay warm from the freezine.

So yah, if you are around Brooklyn tomorrow, come say hi. Both Chloe and I will be there hanging out. We'll give you a copy of our new collaborative zine for free and a real version of our old high fives for maybe-free. But we like bartering, so bring us weird holiday stuff! And while you're there, do some last minute art shopping at The Cotton Candy Machine!

235 South 1st Street (between Roebling and Havemeyer)
Brooklyn, NYC

Here's a few pics of from the 20-page zine. Happy holidays!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Dr. SeWUss & Zerofriends 2.0

No one EVER writes the books that I WANT TO READ! So sometimes I just have to make covers for them and hope that someday they become real.

And just as a heads up, I'll never be putting this up as a print or on a shirt or anything because all I basically did was steal the wonderful Dr. Seuss' art and style, but if you want it for any reason here is a link to download a high-rez version of it:
Here is a direct link:

Now, since I continue to be on my Wu-Tang kick, which has gone on for about 16 years now consistently, I figured that there is no better time to announce the launch of a brand new section/type of shirts on the ZEROFRIENDS STORE that will be expanding TEEmendously over the course of the next few months.

The new line of shirts is called ZEROFRIENDS 2.0 and we are kicking it off with my "Doctor Wu" shirt!

Click image to purchase for only $20!

So what exactly is this new line and why "2.0", aside from just being unoriginally silly, you ask?

Well, in short, because a small part of our hearts has gone DIGITAL! But in (non-virtual) realiTEE, this is our "Direct To Garment" line of t-shirts that are produced digitally, rather than screenprinted.
This printing process allows us to quickly produce fun, topical shirts as well as experiment with colors and designs that we would never be able to with screenprinting.

The other main reason we are putting this new line of shirts up is simply to have FUN. The shirts that will be available in the Zerofriends 2.0 line are not going to be specifically limited, but each shirt will only be available for a limited time, and will disappear without notice, so we can constantly change out designs as sporadically as I change my opinion. This line will basically be catered toward ideas that I scribble out at 2AM that only 3 or 4 people in the world might like. Well, guess what? If you're one of those 3 or 4 people, Zerofriends 2.0 is for you.
And also expect to see a ton of the "My Favorite Monsters" shirts showing up in this line as well. More info soon. For now, enter the 36 Chambers Of ShWhoLin.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Makings of a Horrific Holiday Video.

I am temporarily changing the name of my company today to Zerosarcasm, because all I am filled with today is sentiment. Or in this case, Santament. (Ok so maybe there's a little sarcasm still...)
2 Years ago this week, Zerofriends' director Stephen Reedy, myself and the whole crew released our very first Zerofriends short film to celebrate the upcoming holidays. Since it's that time of year again, if you missed it when we released it, here it is for all of your Horrorday, i mean Holiday, enjoyment..

But now there's MORE! Curious about how much work goes into creating one of our films? Here is a new video showcasing the creative genius that is Stephen Reedy as he hosts "The Making Of The Winter Stalker"

Stephen has put together over 10 similar behind the scenes videos about making some of our favorite short films over the course of the last couple of years. All of our short films, as well as all of the new never before seen "Making-Of's" are available on our NEW ZEROFRIENDS DVD that you can purchase HERE for only $12!

If that's not enough to sell you, we made a commercial for it too. Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Everything Is SUPER Terrible

I have some terrible news to announce. But guess what? I've never felt this awesome telling you something this terrible. No, Joaquin Phoenix and I didn't finally finish our dubstep album. BE PATIENT!!!

Instead, I am terribly proud to tell you that I teamed up with my all-time favorite VHS misfit wizards at EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE to create a little drawing of the only human on the fucking planet that actually DESERVES to use the term "swag", considering his literal invention of it spontaneously on the Barbie-Dance Club back in 1988. That's right. After 4 years of begging the heavens to let me have SOMETHING to do with EIT & their 13 year old inhuman mascot, all of the Jerry Maguire's shined their lasers on my prayers and I got to draw DUANNNNNNEEEE! If you haven't been star-punched in the face by Duane's fashion sense, his eye for trends, and his mutantly perfect wiggling,

And now that you have leveled up, and perhaps even want to be another sponsor to add to Duane's shirt-patch collection, here is my rendition of my favorite 7th grader ever, which to me seemed a little TOO UNCANNILY like Aladdin Sane so here is ALADDIN DUANE!

The maniacs over at EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE are going to be selling these Duane shirts on their site SOON and are also getting ready to journey on their new LIVE quest, the "ALL DOGS GO ON TOUR" Tour to launch their new DVD and generally weird the entire world out by partying and sacrificing people along the way. Please please please, you will thank your eyes and ears if you make it to one of their shows, so GO! Trust me, because I'm made of mustard. 

And spend a day watching a thousand of their videos on THEIR SITE. #Bubbles.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Dr. Who-Tang Clan

Dr. Who-Tang Clan AKA Dr. Wu AKA Dalex Diamonds AKA The Whozarector

When 2 things are separately awesome, smash 'em together. It makes them even

36 Chambers of ShWholin!

Monday, December 5, 2011


Ok, I have to get a couple quick things out of the way first before I go into over-descriptive begging/thanking/excited mode.

1. Thank you to everyone (damnit I already started my exciting thankful mode. oh well) who supported our "Brown Thursday" Sale. It was crazy, and we love you.

2. As we also do every year, we like to use December to have fun and offer some new festive colorway editions of some of our favorite sold out prints! (In the past we have done the "Orange Lantern" Print and the "Escaped Conviction" Print). So don't miss these two new special limited holiday editions of these prints!
Click on either of them to go directly to the store to buy/view them:

"OWLEX" The Ice Kings Edition
17" x 22" SIgned Limited edition of 100

"Cynaphobia" The Holiday Edition
11" x 14" Signed Limited edition of 100

And it wouldn't be Christmas without a little nightmare mixed in, right? So yah, here is another limited new addition to my "My Favorite Monsters" ongoing series:

Santa Jack Skellington
8" x 10" Signed limited edition of 100.

Now...on to the main course!

Well, it's been over 2 years in the making, which is, in my terms, about 8 thousand gallons of roasted red pepper hummus and only 4 full changes of clothes. Over the last 2 and half years, writer/director mastermind Stephen Reedy, myself, Dave Correia, cinematographer Chris Saul, sound and comedy madmen Rich Arenas & Josh Petersdorf, makeup guru Melissa Pizzamiglio, producer Megan Powers, Nic Aragon and our whole Zerofriends gang jumped head first into an attempt to build something from nothing. Our goal was to step outside of the 2-dimensional art world and construct a new unique universe and style within the film, advertising, and online video world that would be an extension and homage to both my artwork as well as the whole Zerofriends brand. For our first video (T-Shirt Monster) we had almost zero resources other than our collective creativity, passion and willingness to sacrifice our minds and bodies....a lot. All in the name of fun.....and tentacles

Well, we loved getting our faces scraped off, our eyes burned from glo-sticks,and our houses ruined from plaster and dirt so much that we are going to keep going. But meanwhile, we are finally offering these last 2 years of our lives in the form of a fun little digital pizza for you to cook up in your DVD player and soak in our moving scrapbook.


What is this Digital Video Digital exactly?

Well, first and foremost, it's over 20 high-quality versions of our favorite short films, commercials and music videos that we have produced that have been seen on our YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

However, we know that you can just watch all of those online, so we added about 80 times more stuff for your eyeballs and earballs!

In addition to those videos (and some cool interviews with Tara McPherson, Dave Correia, Robert Bowen, Skinner, Craola & More) that you may have seen, we added a handful of ones that we know you HAVEN'T:
Myself & Dave Correia find a magic lamp that summons rocker Mickey Avalon.
Hand Turkey gets animated.
Funnyman genius Rich Arenas has instructional art videos as well as a few Kamen Rider videos as you have never seen them before.
And, in what I think is worth more than the cost of the DVD, writer/director/awesome human Stephen Reedy personally takes you on 11 educational Behind-The-Scenes adventures from some of our videos. He shows you some creative secrets and never before seen footage to show you how he made no-budget commercials look like a quintillion-dollar budgeted commercials (spoiler alert: use lots of garbage, oversized things and corn syrup!).

Oh, and also, Stephen and myself recorded TWO separate full commentary tracks, one WITH hummus, and one without!

As a special bonus/thank you to all of you who continue to support us so that we can hopefully make more films, the first 100 DVDs that get sold will come shipped with a FREE "Jack Skellington" Signed 8" x 10" print from ME!

(Note: You don't need to add anything to your cart, we will automatically ship it while supplies last.)

And if you're still not sold, here's a commercial for you begging you to buy it. Please. Please.....

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A few of my "AWFUL / RESILIENT" Limited Hand Painted Books....


I posted all 60 (of the edition of 250) that I have finished so far over on my FACEBOOK ART PAGE. They are being released in waves through Zerofriends, Gingko Press & Upper Playground. A new wave will be released next week through Zerofriends. Stay tuned.



Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm almost a total Sell Out! And It feels AWESOME!

The 8" x 10" Free prints are sold out, but the 11" x 14" Free Prints are still available! All details over at the ZEROFRIENDS Online Store.

Monday, November 28, 2011


Over the last couple of months, due to a smorgasbord of adventures and emotions, the synapses in my brain have shape-shifted, changed the way they transmit neurons and have been causing my brain to experience a whole new view on the world around me, both challenging and inspiring me even more than watching seven new seasons in a row of Tales From The Crypt from inside a space shuttle that turns out to be a real transformer. I've just been kind of looking at everything in my life from a slightly different perspective and soaking it in as if it's the first time. I can't stop smiling. And guess what? It's awesome. It's like re-watching The Matrix AFTER being convincingly told that you're IN the Matrix. More on that later, after I figure out what to do with my new love for kites, mimes, Totoro and kidnapping.

Keeping my new brain-morphing in mind, I've always pretty much accepted and appreciated all kinds of art. Hell I even think The Human Centipede director TOM SIX'S "Shocking" Paintings have some genuine artistic value. So generally, I have always appreciated Andy Warhol's approach to his work, his social and economical commentaries, the implementation of his "factory" and the insanely huge impact it's all had on pop culture and modern art. However, I never really gave two shits about the actual aesthetics of the art itself. But what i DO give multiple shits about now is having fun, splattering paint, making puns that most likely only Chloe or Keith would appreciate, and now selfishly realizing that, with photoshop, still-working eyes and a little imagination, I can see every part of the world in a brand NEW way, even if it involves butchering the world the way mother nature and some art-hippies intended it to exist.

So on that note, I know Andy Warhol made some inkblot paintings, which I learned about last year from a very well-versed teacher named JAY-Z who wrote books or something. But from what I could find, everyone, including Andy himself, failed to see the pun that was sitting in plain site. So I took it upon myself to continue to butcher things that people like in order to make myself smile. And it worked. I totally like Andy Warhol's art now! And I like his name better too!


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

BROWN THURSDAY Is Almost Upon Us...Part 3!


What's the best thing about running an online business during an economy like this? I mean, aside from the overwhelming number of PHP Groupies and Hypertext chicks that flock to us because of our integrated shopping cart coding? Well, the best thing about this type of business is that we can have a huge Black Friday Sale ON A BROWN THURSDAY and get this SHIT goin' EARLY!!

Details below:

That's right, an entire day before some of you hoarders line up at Wal-Mart to get a free pair of the wrong sized shoes when you buy a 30 dollar flat screen, you can ON-LINE UP at and check out, alongside BRAND NEW PRODUCTS, the new (temporary) slashed prices on a few Different Signed Limited Giclee Prints, all of our 8" x 10" prints and 5" x 7" prints are on sale, as well all of our t-shirts!
Sale officially starts MIDNIGHT PACIFIC TIME on Weds night / Thursday morn (Nov 24)!

Step by step instructions without illustrations:

1. Go to ZEROFRIENDS.COM, where, at the time of the sale, we will be putting up tons of new prints, a few new hoodies, new original art, and more! (you can see previews below!)

2. Look around at some of the BRAND NEW PRODUCTS and take a look at some of the sale items.

3. Take notes. Smile

4. Starting On Brown Thursday, Nov 25, (Officially starts midnight Wednesday night at midnight Pacific Standard Time) Purchase ANY combination of items equalling $25 or more (it doesn't have to be one of the sale items) and recieve, along with your order, ONE free 8" x 10" signed & numbered print of Alex Pardee's "DEER JOHN" Painting (limited edition of 400)!*

4.5. Purchase ANY combination of items equalling $150 or more (it doesn't have to be one of the sale items) and receive, in addition to the free 8" x 10", a FREE 11" x 14" signed and numbered print of Alex Pardee's "Holiday Hug" Painting.


*Limit of ONE free print per HOUSEHOLD. While supplies last.

Just saying:)

Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you from all of us here at Zerofriends.

(below are just previews, I know the new hoodies say available now but trust me….they're not. sorry if my future banners confuse your present brains!)